Part O: Many of us remain isolated because we OBJECTIFY our sisters, taking away their humanity and turning them into an object: flirt, snob, reject, nerd, etc. The sporty girl turns her nose up at the ornamental girl who can’t get muddy. The popular and put together girl doesn't have time to notice the obscure girl in the corner who doesn't own a brush. If left unchecked, our stereotypes could go on for days, weeks, and possibly a lifetime.

Part L: Many of us sacrifice friendships because LONELINESS seems an easier risk than the liability of a letdown. We think to ourselves, “I’m okay with creating and managing my own drama, but I don’t want to get too involved in the lives of others. I don’t have time or space for that.” This kind of attitude may keep us as safe as a turtle in it’s shell, but it also limits the Lord’s ability to fill our longing for fellowship.

Hear from a guest blogger: Marian Jordan Ellis on friendship: "I’ll never forget the day that my friend Angel transformed from an acquaintance into one of my closest friends. I was in the midst of a full-blown-melt-down of mythic proportions when God brought her into my life. I was walking through a dark time after a heartbreak that tested my faith. The hardest part of that season was feeling so alone and thinking no one understood my pain."

We all fail our friends.  We say things we don’t mean.  We are habitually inconsiderate and rude, easily offended and hurt.  We withdraw and give up when we should pursue and work through a problem.  But this doesn’t mean we are bad people.  It means we are imperfectly human. 

“Why is it so hard for me to make friends?”  And the Holy Spirit answered, “No one is perfect Sharie, and neither are you.”

I try not to hurt my friends, but I do.  When I realize what I’ve done, my first hope is for them to love, listen, forgive and give me the benefit of the doubt.  Don’t we all want to be understood and forgiven?  This is what it means to believe the best. 

Valentines day is a bundle of mixed emotions. But it doesn't have to be this way.  What if we adopted a new take on Valentine's Day?  If the holiday is about love, and the world is supposed to know we are Christians by our love, why don’t we give it a makeover? Why don’t we use Valentine's Day as a way to fulfill the two greatest commandments?

I wish we could sail through dating to find ourselves on a Caribbean honeymoon carrying no relationship scars or regrets.  But most likely we'll encounter a mistake or two before we get to say "I Do."   So last night I spent the evening with some college ladies sharing four of my relationship blunders, hoping their love lives would benefit.  Here they are:

Do you spend a lot of time dreaming about your life, wondering when Jesus is going to fulfill your dreams?  I think about his plans for me when I go to sleep, wake up, when I’m driving, sitting in the doctor’s office, etc.  And after all that thinking, I’m still never quite sure how or when he will make things happen. 

To be honest, I was alone and scared because no one else around.  But, I was afraid he might follow me to my doorstep if I left, so I cautiously sat and listened.  He tried to sell me a CD he’d apparently recorded with a prominent studio musician.  My ears soon overflowed with story after story, creative concoctions of truth and lie.  But as I listened, I got a funny feeling God was interrupting my day for a reason.

We are in the holiday season.  At some point someone will probably ask, “How was your vacation?”  Often times I have this thought, “Good, but now I need a vacation to recuperate from my vacation.”

Why do vacations and holidays wear us thin?  Because good stress and bad stress both have a depleting affect on your body’s energy and emotions.  We look forward to our time off, but then we find ourselves more exhausted after the fact. 

God gives us the gift of laughter to help us through struggles.  One way I've learned to let go is to laugh at myself. 

I'm from the city and my husband is a country boy.  When we first met, his family got a kick out of the fact that I often couldn't understand common country phrases and didn't think their farm-humor jokes were funny.  At first I felt out-of-place and then we all laughed at the differences we found every time I visited. 

 When you find the opportunity to laugh, heal your soul by swinging the door wide open.

My stomach churned with frustration as I made dinner alone for the third night in a row.  Since my husband and I both travel in ministry, we made a deal to not be apart for more than three days.  But, we’d made an exception, which meant I had the boys alone for two more days. My humanity was erupting, but a familiar calm was also creeping into my soul.  It beckoned me to let go of my anger, but  then the Holy Spirit whispered..

And my thoughts kept traveling away from my situation as I thought, "I bet it took a lot of courage believe flight, defying gravity was possible.  I believed we could fly because I've flown, but they believed without proof.  I wonder how many people bet against the Wright Brothers or thought Columbus would topple off the edge of the earth?  Edison probably wondered if he was signing a death certificate when he tried to harness the power of lighting, and Alexander Bell was surely crazy to think people could communicate through a wire."

The word love is thrown around to describe affection for so many things.  I often find myself telling someone I LOVE their outfit or hair, that workout, sports team, style of house or car, or maybe even a certain vacation spot.  When I transition to my affection toward my mom or dad, grandparents, friends, husband, children, or a close friend, my love reaches to a deeper place.  And Jesus’ unconditional love takes me still deeper. 

Have you ever heard someone say, "I don't want it to go to her head"?  Recently after speaking at an event, someone offered my husband a compliment about me.  After listening, he suggested they come and tell me.  But, they responded, "Well, I don't want it to go to her head." 

What they didn't know is that I desperately needed a boost of inspiration. 

Psalm 25:5, “Guide me in your truth and teach me, for you are my God and my Savior, and my hope is in you all day long.”

Will BEING you will BE enough?  Maybe you should BECOME someone else for the sake of friends and popularity.  

Secretly, you wish what all of us do; that people will accept the real you. 

But, who are you?  What do you believe about yourself?

Have you ever wondered if Jesus hears you?  This morning I found a desperate prayer to Jesus in my journal from January 2014.  It read,

“Jesus, I need your attention and compassion.  Will you sell our house? Will you take care of us as we try to take care of so many others?  Will you be our father?  Will you swoop in and provide for us in a miraculous way?  I need You to care for us, to take some of this weight off.  I want to have faith, but I’m so tired right now.  Tired.”

When you’re a little girl, it’s kind of cute to be a tomboy. But, as a teenager, you’re labeled strong willed and rebellious. And in my experience, people quickly slap harsh labels on women who are strong leaders. God, why did you give me this personality when you knew I’d be a girl?

When your life feels barren, who are you trusting?  When you’re at a dead end, there’s no solution to your problem, no energy for the stress, no happiness for tomorrow, no money for today, or no more brain space for that exam…who will you trust?

Father, sometimes when things seem to be falling apart, people blame outward influences, and others blame themselves.

I’m the latter.  You know I self-examine, self-deprecate.  I blame myself.  Nether is right or healthy, but you know my mind won’t stop.